HOW DO YOU MAKE A GUY
the assassination of franz ferdinand was actually the most hilariously botched assassination attempt of all time though like i can’t even explain to you how badly it went i mean there were six guys and the first one chickened out and the second one forgot to factor in the delay on a hand grenade so it exploded like three cars past the archduke’s so the guy took a cyanide pill and threw himself into a river, but the cyanide was expired and the river was six inches deep so the police just pulled him out and took him off to jail and then everyone else basically gave up and headed home, and then the driver of the archduke took a wrong turn and the car stalled next to the last of the six guys, and he was just like “what a crazy random happenstance” and started world war one
“dad i got accepted into harvard!!”
“son im very disappointed in u. i did not raise u to be such a nerd”
*dentist slaughters family in front of you*
they’re bleeding because you don’t floss
ok let’s stop using the term “butthurt” we’re not 12 anymore
you sound fannytroubled
a little bootybothered if you ask me
someone’s having a little tushytantrum



